Tutoring 2

Since na-mention na rin ni Argel yung weird guy na may pet, eto na ang kwento. Gawin ko na lang conversation type post para mas madali. Hehe. Medyo mahaba-haba ito, so basahin niyo na lang kung wala kayong magawa. :D

Me: Good evening! My name is Elma, and I'm Computer Engineering graduate from the University of the Philippines. :D
Guy: Hello. My name is Blank.
M: Really? Is that your real name?
G: Yes.
M: Ok... Do you have a last name?
G: Yes, I have a last name. It is Obama.
M: Obama. That's interesting...
G: And my middle name is mumble-mumble.
(I didn't understand what he said. It sounded like Green or Girini. something like that).
M: I'm sorry. Will you repeat that please? I couldn't quite understand what you said.
G: Girini.
(I still didn't understand. T_T)
M: So your name is Blank Girini Obama...
G: Yes that is right.
M: O-k... So... what is your work Blank?
G: Ahhhh... It is a secret. I cannot tell.
M: But why?
G: Because it is a secret.
M: O-k... What about your previous job? Can you tell me about that?
G: Oh yes. Before, I was a sumo wrestler.
M: Wow that's great! I've always wanted to talk about sumo wrestling, but I don't think the other students are interested in sumo wrestling.
G: Oh really?
M: Yes! So you must be a big guy since you were a sumo wrestler before...
G: Not really...
M: Really? But aren't sumo wrestlers usually big, big people?
G: Yes, but not me. I'm different.
M: Oh really? Hmm... Did you win in your sumo bouts?
G: No...
M: Awww... That's sad... Maybe because you're not a big guy.
G: I don't know...
M: Is sumo wrestling still popular in Japan?
G: Yes, it still is.
M: I see... Hmm... Why don't you tell me more about sumo wrestling?
G: Well... The referee wears colorful costumes.
M: Colorful costumes?
G: Yes. And then there are two players inside a circle.
M: How does one win in sumo wrestling?
G: You have to force the other player out of the circle.
M: Ohhh... And can you use your feet in the game? I mean, can you kick the other player out?
G: No no no. You use hands only.
M: And how big is the circle?
G: About... 5 meters across.
M: Oh... Ok. Uhh... What do you call the underwear that sumo wrestlers use?
G: Oh! Those are called mawashi.
M: Mawashi...
G: Yes. Mawashi. I'm actually wearing one right now.
M: Really?
G: Yes.
M: Why? Do you have a sumo fight today?
G: No. I wear it because it is comfortable.
M: O-k...
G: Actually, a lot of Japanese wear mawashi because it is so comfortable.
M: I didn't know that...
G: So now you know.
M: Yeah... Hmmm... So you were a sumo wrestler before... What do you do now?
G: Now I'm a mumble-mumble player.
M: A what?
G: mumble-mumble player.
M: I'm sorry, I don't understand. Will you type that for me please?
(Guy types. I receive "gateball player")
M: Oh! Gateball! I see... What is gateball?
G: I will show you.
(Guy gives me a link to a pic. The picture is of a group of people playing gateball. The game looks very similar to croquet. The people in the picture wore shirts with numbers, and they also wore hats.)
M: Ohhhh... so this is a gateball game.
G: Yes. I am number 7 in the picture.
M: Number 7?
(I look at the person wearing the 7 shirt, and it is a small, old woman.)
M: So this is what you look like! Is this really you?
G: Yes. I am not liar.
M: You are not a liar...
G: Yes. I am not a liar.
M: Ohhhh... So this is why you didn't win any sumo bouts! Because you are so thin!
G: No no no. I was bigger. That was after my diet.
M: After your diet?
G: Yes. I went on a diet. I ate only grasshoppers.
M: Grasshoppers? are they delicious?
G: Yes. Very much. Actually right now, I'm in a restaurant.
M: Oh really?
G: Yes. And I ordered mumble-mumble.
M: I'm sorry. Will you type that again for me please? I don't think I know the food you are talking about.
G: Ok.
(Guy types again. I receive "crocket")
M: Crocket? What's a crocket?
G: You don't know crocket?
M: No...
G: I will show you.
(Guy gives me another link. I open it and it is a picture of an insect much like a grasshopper I think. I didn't look at it very long because it is ewwwwwy. Hahaha maarte ba?)
M: Ewww! You eat this?
G: Yes. It is for my diet.
M: Ewwwwww! Really? Is it delicious?
G: Yes.
M: How is this cooked? Is it fried or do you eat it raw?
G: Uhh... fried?
M: O-k... Why? Why in the world would you want to eat that thing?
G: For my diet. It is very healthy.
M: O-k...
G: What about you? are you on a diet?
M: Me? No! Actually, I'm trying to gain weight.
G: Gain weight? Why? Are fat girls popular in the Philippines?
M: Hahahaha. Uhhhh... I don't think so... I think the male population here prefer slim girls to the not-so-slim girls.
G: Then why are you trying to get fat?
M: Not really get fat. I just want to put on some weight because I think I'm too thin for my height.
G: Oh... You are thin?
M: Yes, I think I'm thin.
G: Oh, I can hear a dog bark.
M: Yes, that's our neighbor's dog. Maybe a car passed by their house, that's why the dog barked.
G: I have pets too.
M: Really? What kind of pets?
G: Cockroaches.
M: Cockroaches?!
G: Yes, I have 3 cockroaches.
M: Why cockroaches?
G: I just found them in my house and I decided to take them as pets.
M: I see... what are their names?
G: Strawberry, Mango, and... Eruma.
M: Those are pretty names. Why did you name one Strawberry?
G: Well, when I saw her, I was eating a strawberry.
M: Ohhh... I see. So you named the other one Mango because you were eating a mango when you saw the cockroach?
G: Yes.
M: And why did you name the other one Eruma?
G: Because when I saw Eruma, I was watching Sesame Street.
M: Ohhhh... and Elmo was there so you named her after him.
G: Yes.
M: How did you know the cockroach was a girl? Why didn't you name the cockroach Erumo?
G: I thought the cockroach was a lesbian, that's why I named her Eruma, not Erumo.
M: How did you know she was a lesbian?
G: She was touching the other cockroaches.
M: O-k... Well... Those are pretty names for cockroaches...
G: Yes... Do you know what watermelons are?
M: Yes, of course!
G: Have you seen a cubic watermelon?
M: No, I haven't seen one.
G: I will show you.
(Guy gives me yet another link. Picture shows cubic watermelons.)
M: Wow... cubic watermelons. Do these watermelons taste the same as the spherical ones?
G: Yes. Same taste. But they are grown differently. People put them in boxes to give the shape.
(Then I notice that the time is almost up.)
M: Oh... Look at the time! It's almost time to say goodbye.
G: Oh yeah.
M: Well... I enjoyed our weird conversation tonight. I think you have heard this from your other tutors as well.
G: Oh yeah... But I'm not liar.
M: No, you are not a liar.
G: Yes, I'm not.
M: Ok Blank, I hope to talk to you again sometime!
G: Yeah, me too.
M: Goodnight, and bye!
G: Thank you and byebye!
M: Thank you too! Bye!